The time for you to get that thing done is now
Tuesday 31 January 2017
Monday 30 January 2017
Everything Will Fall Into Place
Good Morning!
Shadows show movement and are only possible when exposed to light. God has already made provisions for everything that is going to happen in your life. (Jeremiah 1:5) In the Old Testament, God teaches us about Jesus using shadows and types. Joseph was a shadow of Jesus and our glimpse of how He would come and to fall in love with the church. These shadows show us that God is strategic. Do not get discouraged in your season of feeling like you are in the shadows. (Galatians 6:9). Everything that you have encountered is a part of God’s intricate plan for you that is coming together behind the scenes. (Romans 8:28). Be encouraged and know that God will cause you to prosper in your land of affliction.
The famine is going to come before the favor. If you can endure the famine in the shadows, have a spirit of expectancy that when you are brought forth into the light, unprecedented blessings are going to flow! (Jeremiah 29:11)
Source: TD JAKES
Learn to Collaborate
I love the word “collaborate” because it suggests synergy–the concept that the “whole” is greater than the sum of the parts. We are surrounded by synergism in everyday life. Take our physical bodies, for example. Using free weights, I can lift about 3 pounds with each finger; thus, I should be able to life 15 pounds with a single hand. Interestingly, when I combine the effort of all my fingers working as a unit, I can lift my 40-pound suitcase! The concept of synergy is found throughout the Bible. For example, Deuteronomy 32:30 speaks of ONE chasing a 1,000 but TWO putting 10,000 to flight. Hey wait! Something is wrong with the math here. If one can chase a 1,000 then two should only be able to chase 2,000. But not in God’s economy! When we combine efforts, we are 10 times more effective than working as a sole individual.
Corporations are increasingly collaborating, merging or forming new entities to achieve certain synergies in their operations. Competing is fast becoming an outdated business model. I think it’s time we all jump on the bandwagon and look for ways to work synergistically with others. We can start in our families. We can abandon the sibling rivalry and the bickering and commit to behavior that makes the family stronger. At work, try becoming the chief team player and to stop fretting about another getting your coveted promotion. Serve without seeking credit and accolades at church; just cooperate with others and support their programs. Don’t have a scarcity mentality that says, “If I help X succeed, there won’t be any benefits left for me!” Such scarcity thinking is an insult to our God of abundance–and it will derail your destiny faster than a speeding bullet. Surely you know that promotion comes from God (Psalms 75:6). So relax, nobody can get what’s yours. Enjoy the process and leave your exaltation to God!
Source: Deborah Smith Pegues
Better Than That Series (I)- 4 Reasons Why You Should Not Sleep Around
Ever thought there was nothing wrong with sleeping around? Here are 4 reasons why it is a big error:
*You are not an animal: Animals usually don't hv a particular place they mate and they don't get married a male animal just seeks a female animal and sleeps with her..Same applies to the femal animals. In other words, sleeping around is characteristic of animals. Have you ever asked yourself why people who sleep around are referred to as dogs? Are you animal? Your attitude to having sex best answers the question.
*You Could Get Infected with STD: This is an unarguable truth. People who sleep around run the risk of getting infected by a sexually transmitted disease.
*Spending of money foolishly: Come to think of it, the money you spend getting people to sleep with you could have been put to better use. Similarly, in the event of STD moneyhas to be spent to get pills that would help you treat the disease. Do you really have to spend like this?
*It Adds No Value To You: Take it or leave it, sleeping around adds no value to your life. People who sleep around tend to also be engaged in another social vices. No organization gives an award for the best pervert. So why would you wanna continue in something that brings more good than bad
We live in a world where people (especially guys) proudly talk about how they've slept with this girl and that girl. As fas as I'm concerned it is an act of immaturity, indiscretion, imprudence and folly to be proud of such an adventure. Some foolish ones are even bold enough to let it out on social media- may they receive sense!
You should know that you are better than that. Once a person is addicted to sleeping around, it takes the grace of God to stop that habit. Incase you are reading this piece and you're guilty of this, no one is judging you but I must let you know the truth. However, you can gradually stop this bad habit with persistent and consistent efforts backed up by God's Grace.
You are better than that.
Remain Blessed and Highly Favoured!!!
Sunday 29 January 2017
Make way for light
“To err is human; to forgive divine.”
Indeed, making errors is a normal, if unwanted, part of life.
Every one of us has moments we are not proud of – moments when anger, jealousy or our insecurities get in the way of our living in the light.
Yet, we are called on to realize that the darkness
cannot and will not overshadow our good. Studies have found that people who think they can learn from their mistakes bounced back quickly after an error. It may feel like it is too late, or too much has passed, but never doubt that you can turn it all around.
Darkness in our lives is overcome with the light of honest intentions.
Therefore:
If you have broken a friendship/relationship: mend it.
If you have lied: forgive yourself and work to speak the truth.
If you have let your pride get in the way of doing what is right: acknowledge it and get back on the right path.
Your self inflicted pain, or the pain you caused others, does not brand you for life! In fact, psychologists have found that authentic self-forgiveness “involves admitting to and taking responsibility for the transgression.”
The darkness is human; the errors are surmountable.
Step out of the dark through a complete and compassionate forgiveness of yourself. You may not be able to run (or even walk) out of it yet, but the light is always available and ever present.
Saturday 28 January 2017
The Blame Ends Here
Blame. It’s a dirty word. It implies failure, even negligence. It’s no wonder then why so many of us are tempted to play the so-called blame game, where we rush to find a scapegoat rather than accept responsibility for mistakes. The blame game, though, unleashes a storm of destruction. In fact, according to Psychology Today, the blame game is among the “most destructive” of human habits –– sparking everything from war to road rage to general unhappiness.
The good news is, in a world filled with finger pointing, you can live a fuller life by refusing to play the blame game. If you find yourself in the midst of a blame storm, seize control by following these powerful tips.
1. Consider Your Role In The Situation
Even if you’re absolutely certain that the negative turn of events you’re experiencing is someone else’s fault, think about the role you may have played in the situation (no matter how little). Say an employee botched an assignment you gave him –– think about whether or not you could have communicated better to prevent the mix-up from occurring. Or perhaps you could have chosen another employee with a different skill set to complete the task. Get a piece of paper and diagram the sequence of events leading up to the mishap. Then, circle where you could have stepped in and handled things differently.
2. Try To Forgive
Forgiveness can be challenging, especially if you’re dealing with an individual who’s made a series of mistakes or if their negligence has you facing serious consequences. Big or small, try to forgive others’ faults. If you’re a person of faith, you’re called to extend grace to others. If not, extend forgiveness simply because you’re hardly perfect either and may also need forgiveness for a misdeed in the future. If forgiveness doesn’t come naturally to you, consider writing a letter addressed to the person you’d like to forgive. You don’t need to actually send the letter. Just express your thoughts about the mistake, why it hurt you and why you’re choosing to forgive anyway. This technique can help your angry feelings dissipate.
3. Release The Illusion Of Control
Face it. Sometimes mistakes or tragedies occur through no fault of anyone. A phrase has even been coined about such events –– “freak accidents.” Acknowledge that neither you nor the others involved in the situation could dictate the outcome. Instead of making someone else a scapegoat, try to learn the lesson from the situation and move on. You can reflect quietly at night or in the morning for 15 minutes until you see the way through the mistake.
Pointing the finger at others when mishaps occur does far more harm than good.
The blame game leads to feelings such as resentment, guilt and anxiety. Find a healthier coping mechanism when things don’t go your way. Ask for advice, reach out to others for support or simply give yourself time to bounce back from a failure. You’ll feel much better trying these methods than making other people
Source: TD JAKES
Friday 27 January 2017
Blessed in Low Places
T.D. Jakes Ministries
Good morning! We are looking for greatness in high places, but God starts his Greatest Blessings in Low Places. Don't be accused of missing the blessing that sits right under your nose.
God birthed a miracle in a manger. (Matthew 1:18-25) It's not always the ideal place where God will send your blessing.
God will take you to a low place that will alter your perspective. You start to see all of the things that God protected you from while navigating to that low place. He protected you from dangers seen and unseen. You even see the foes that were in your presence that never harmed you. (Psalms 110:1) Yes it's the low place that brings the greatest blessings.
Don't spend too much time seeing the tragedy of the low place, focus on God. God has the keys to your blessings. Spend time in prayer, meditation and studying his word in your low place. Ask God to give you strength to develop the 4 R's that will equip you in being Blessed and Highly Favored.
1) Receive the word of God. If God said it, that settles it. It will come to pass. (Hebrews 11:6)
2) Resilient - you are being set up for a come back! Walk it out! (Psalms 98:1)
3) Rejection is a jump start to your blessing and it does not determine your future. God has your future in His hands. (Jeremiah 29:11)
4) Redemption - the thing that is in you right now, will deliver you! The battle has already been won. (2 Chronicles 20:15)
You are blessed and highly favored! Receive it! Walk it out! Claim it!
Thursday 26 January 2017
3 Tips For Curbing Depression and Anxiety
Depression and anxiety seem to be on the increase today because of the myriad of problems that arise each day..Here are 3 tips to note in the fight to curb depression and anxiety
1. Get Fit
As a fitness fanatic myself I regularly experience the endorphin highs that come with exercise. Though I have not cycled in a while, these feel good hormones were in abundance while cycling around London or the countryside! I simply cannot imagine starting my day without my early morning run which keeps me at the peak of perfect health!
I recall bumping into a fellow cyclist one day outside my local grocery (Tesco’s). We got chatting and she began telling me about her history of mental health and extensive medication regime. I was astounded to hear that she was able to come off her meds altogether once she became an avid cyclist!
I am by no means suggesting you stop taking your medication and replace it with exercise or do any such thing without consulting your GP. But I do know the power of exercise and thought I’d share a real life story with you!
Exercise can ease depression and anxiety which is supported by the Mayo’s Clinic’s article here.
2. Lifestyle
Your lifestyle choices can be the difference between good management and a down hill spiral when it comes to depression. Smoking and alcohol in most circumstances never support good health but as a sufferer of depression, you’d definitely want to show it the door! A study in the British Journal of Psychiatry found that smokers had more than twice the rate of depression than non-smokers. And nearly one-third of people with major depression also have an alcohol problem.
People reach for a cigarette or a glass of wine to help them get over the blues. It is a learned coping mechanism that brings temporary relief to their current mental state. But really it’s a bit like putting a band-aid on a gun-shot wound! It doesn’t come close if you’re trying to stop the bleeding!
3. Overweight
While eating a healthy diet does wonders for your health and well-being, the opposite is true when you don’t and impacts depression is a negative way.
Junk food junkies are much more likely to end up overweight and obese and being overweight is a bummer for your depression! The psychological effects of being overweight can be extremely damaging to your body image and self-esteem . It can further alienate you and give you every reason to hide yourself in your depression and from the rest of world.
Carrying the extra pounds puts weight on your quality of life, pun intended! It is more likely to affect your mood and almost certainly colours your outlook on life.
When you are overweight the cost to your physical health is a hefty one! Pun intended again! You are likely to suffer from a multitude of other disease all adding to the burden of depression. Research has shown that poorer health is linked to anxiety, depression and lower levels of wellbeing
Staying at a healthy weight makes sense for a healthy heart, slender body and a happy mind!
Is There a Price to Pay for Promiscuity?
A recent study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology suggests that teenagers who engage in casual sex are more likely to suffer from depression than their peers who don’t engage in casual sex.
What you choose for your life should always be conducive to your health and wellbeing
Rest in His Promise
Good Morning!
There is nobody that can curse what God has blessed! Let me reiterate, there is NOBODY that can curse what God has blessed! There may be people in close proximity to you who mean you no good, but trust that God is a protector. Just like in Daniel 6:22, God sent His angel to shut the mouth of the lion to protect him, He will do the same for you. The promises of God are yea and amen (2 Corinthians 1:20)- you’ve got the blessing of Abraham over your life - DECLARE IT! (Galatians 3:9)
It’s important to note that when you are in the not yet moment, your favor comes when you are at a place of rest in Christ. Rest in Christ, knowing that he will never leave or forsake you and that he is rewarder of those that diligently seek HIM. (Hebrews 11:6) Are you seeking HIM in your famine?
You have got to praise Him in the place that you are in now! This battle is not against flesh (Ephesians 6:12), stay the course! Your praise is your weapon and will position you to reap the blessing that is in store for you! This is your divine season for favor, the Double Crossed blessing is coming your way! RECEIVE IT!
Source: TD JAKES
Tales of a Lagos Girl (V)- The Ex-lover's Rape
For 18 months, Greg and I had a very strong relationship and the sex was great. Unfortunately, and for no reason, I fell out of love with him and had to break things off. He was really devastated in spite of the fact that I let him down as gently as I could because he was very nice to me.
I’m now in another relationship and happy. Some few weeks ago, I met Greg at a lecture and he invited me to his flat for a drink. Since we both remained good friends, I went with him. He told me he had a few girlfriends and I was genuinely happy for him. I’d scarcely touched my drink when he was all over me. I was shocked. He pinned me to the couch and started having sex with me and hurting me in the process. I asked him to stop several times, but he didn’t until I was able to free my hands and grab him round the throat to get him off.
He showed no remorse whatsoever and had the guts to tell me I shouldn’t find lovemaking with him so repulsive since we were once lovers. He still wants us to be friends. What I can’t understand is why a man who was once a gentleman could turn into a brute.
Wednesday 25 January 2017
5 ways to build stonger relationships
There was once a man who sat down with his therapist and began to recount his troubles. He listed his woes, “I’m fed up! Each day when I wake up, I feel so shaken
up. My bills have gone up. I’ve felt ill lately, and I’m worried my time is up. I have too much responsibility at work –– everything is up to me! Even sitting here with you, it’s hard to speak up.” The therapist, looking back at him calmly, responded, “You sound like you are really down.”
Sometimes it’s difficult to find a rhythm of upswing to get us moving forward. Often in relationships, we feel as if we are walking a tightrope with a chasm of failure looming below. But, look up! There are positive steps we can take to strengthen our relationships and keep them from sinking.
1. Show Up.
There is a difference between simply being somewhere and showing up. Showing up means being fully present when you are with your significant other. What are some temptations that rob us from being enaged with our partner? Work is a common culprit; put away your cell phone and set boundaries that allow you to be attuned to your partner. Children can also serve as a distraction. Be sure carve out time that allows for you and your partner to connect one-on-one without the prospect for interruption.
2. Open Up.
We cannot truly and fully experience the depths of love without being willing to dive into the realm of vulnerability. To be loved is to be known through and through. As Timothy Keller says, “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial.” Why would we shortchange ourselves in one of the most profound and important areas of life? A thriving relationship requires a sacrificial act of opening up. Be free to love and receive love by becoming vulnerable.
3. 'Fess Up.
Anyone who is in a successful relationship has mastered these two words: “I’m sorry.” Disagreeing, making mistakes and working through challenges are not only normal, but healthy. Doing so shows signs of life –– partners living fully and learning from one another. Relationships become problematic when one partner refuses to acknowledge the moments where they've failed. Apologizing for mistakes does wonders to increase your humility and make your significant other feel valued. At the end of each day, take inventory of your missteps and apologize before you turn out the lights.
4. Listen Up.
The word “conversation” stems from a Latin term that means the “act of living with.” No one enjoys the thought of spending their lives with someone who is domineering, uninterested, or distant. When speaking with your significant other, actively listen to them. When they share with you, engage. Ask them to further explain the details of an event that happened in their day. Did they have a difficult phone call with their sibling? Ask them how it made them feel. Don’t cut them off or check out.
5. Speak Up.
We all know well that love is a two-way street, traffic will flow both ways. Failing to voice your true feelings in a loving way is a disservice to yourself, your spouse, and the relationship you share together. When you love your significant other, you want to know what they are thinking. It helps you know them more and makes you feel close. Apply that same logic to your spouse. They want to know what you're thinking. Share it!
Source: TD JAKES
5 ways to overcome stress
Burden. Overload. Stress. Do these words describe the way you feel about life? If that’s the case, I want you to know you’re not alone. And with God’s help, you can change your outlook and overcome your situation. No matter what’s going on around you, you can have a life in Christ filled with peace and joy.
1. Say something positive. If you constantly feel overwhelmed or under stress and you can’t pinpoint the exact reason, start making some Biblical daily confessions. Rather than getting up each day, talking about how bad things are, begin each day declaring God’s Word and His promises over your life. I am more than a conqueror! (Romans 8:37) God will provide for my every need! (Matthew 6:26) I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! (Philippians 4:13)
2. Fine-tune your budget. If your finances are a source of constant stress in your life, decide to start a budget (or reevaluate your current budget). What is something practical you can do to solve the problem? Cut an expense that is a luxury but not a necessity. Look for a new way to make some additional money. Ask someone who is good with finances to take a look at your budget and give you some suggestions.
3. Do something surprising. If there is someone who is driving up your stress levels by constantly hurting your feelings, do something nice for them—send them a kind note, buy them lunch, tell them something you appreciate about them, or begin praying for them on a regular basis. By doing these little things you are taking steps of faith and obeying God’s command to love your enemies.
4. Upgrade your energy level. If a nagging health problem is leaving you feeling stressed out and run down, start an exercise routine. No more excuses. Set aside time each day to get the exercise and care your body desperately needs. Rather than making excuses, make a plan…and stick to it. You may think that you simply don’t have the energy to exercise. You feel too bad, or you’re too tired. But I often find when I go ahead and begin to exercise that I start to feel better. Exercise takes energy, but it gives you back more energy than it takes!
5. Get out of your rut. If the demands of work are overwhelming and causing you to feel overloaded, do something about it. Delegate some tasks, reevaluate your systems or talk to your boss. (Your boss may not even realize how much you are doing or how it is negatively affecting your personal life.) Instead of complaining how overworked you are, look for ways to be more efficient and how to make the most of your time each day.
These are just a few examples, but as you can see, there are so many ways you can step out in faith in order to live the life Jesus died to give you.
Source: Joyce Meyer
This is not the end of the road
Good Morning!
- God can take your mistakes and turn them into miracles! You are human, and you are going to make mistakes. Gods purpose will not be abandoned because you are navigating the repercussions of a poor choice. (Jer 29:11). The good news is, that in spite of ourselves, God still uses us - even in our imperfections. What God has ordained shall come to pass! (Phil 1:6). God will use the least of them to accomplish His divine purpose. Moses was a stutterer, but God used him to help His people cross The Red Sea on dry ground (Exodus 14). David was an adulterer & a murderer, and God still used Him in a mighty way! Ultimately, your willingness to receive God’s grace and unmerited favor on your life is all that is needed for miracles to abound - His power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Cor 12:9) God does not call the equipped, He equips the called. Even in the mistakes you may have made, God still welcomes you into His marvelous presence with open arms, and will use your gifts for the advancement of His kingdom! (Matthew 11:28). Your mistakes are a set-up for the Double Crossed miracles to happen in your life!
Source: TD JAKES Ministries
Monday 23 January 2017
What are you Surrounding yourself with?
Everything in our lives is interconnected.
Every animal on earth falls into unique ecosystems; their survival is dependent on an intricate web of connection.
Indeed, our own connections determine whether we will survive or thrive . The people and things we interact with inform the quality of our lives.
If we grant access to energy-draining relationships our energy runs dry. If we read books and listen to music full of the pangs of sorrow, soon enough we occupy the same sorrowful space.
This is why it is vital to court greatness and positivity!
Powerful words, songs, movies, and most importantly, people, touch us with their light.
Let’s look at the truth of our situation; are we surrounded by greatness and light? Psychologists have found that what they term, emotional contagion , is a real phenomenon; we are profoundly influenced by other’s emotions and actions. They found that happiness and greatness thrive within groups of interconnected friends and family. In fact “happiness extends up to three degrees of separation.”
Surround yourself with real, optimistic people who find the joy in living, and you will as well. Greatness is in fact contagious.
Expect greatness from yourself, your work
environment and your family interactions and watch the ripple effects of that energy.
Source: TD JAKES
10 ways to make your marriage rock
1. Men need three things . Before we got married, a good friend of the family gave me HER
favorite advice and it stuck. From Dr. Laura’s book
The Care and Feeding of Husbands, she told me men need three things: food, sex, and a girlfriend. In other words, their needs are not usually as complicated {some are, but that’s another post…}. I made sure to remember the first two often, but the “girlfriend” part is important. While you can and will be “the mom” of the house, no man wants to be married to his mom, so don’t be one to him. This thought has stopped me multiple times from turning into that naggy mom that I can be to my 3 year old all day, and causes me to see him as my boyfriend, my partner, who needs attention from me as his friend, and no one else.
2. pray together every day . when we got home from our honeymoon, and we were settling in for the night that first night back to reality, we climbed into bed, and my sweet husband went straight to his knees. he asked if i would pray with him. that’s the man i married . Lord first, us second, everything else comes after. we rarely sleep without praying together, and that alone has been such a strength for both of us through times that have been difficult.
3. A love note board. The first year we were married, we lived at my husband’s grandpa’s house. He needed a house sitter, and we needed a place to stay. It was cheap, full of their things, and we didn’t care one bit. Love notes were all over the house, hiding in cupboards, on the bathroom mirrors… there was a lot of love there and it was obvious. I was getting to know his family through the love they literally left behind. I found a little magnet white board at target and brought it home and wrote a love note on it for him to find, and the next morning, he had changed it to put his own love note… we still use the same little white board to help build each other up. sometimes he will put a scripture, sometimes it’s a “thank you for….” and sometimes it’s a “good luck drinking all that water!” a smile a day is good for the soul, and very good for the marriage…
4. The 72 hour rule . A while back I read this article that I loved about the 72 hour rule. Yep, you guessed it. It’s sex-related. Not that I think you should be counting the hours to meet a quota, or holding each other to it, “Hey it’s been 72 hours so uh….” But it’s something to discuss and keep in mind. I don’t need to tell you the benefits here, I think you get it. Just have more sex! And be the instigator more than the receiver.
5. men who do housework have more sex. it’s true. women, especially those who are in full custody of your children most of the hours of the day, are tired, disheveled, and down on themselves about something . i generally like myself, but i am always wishing i had more time. more time to spend with my kids, more time to spend with kids AND clean my house… so when he cleans my house, or offers to make dinner, it’s mom porn. and he knows it.
husbands. you know what she would love??
a super hot and sexy clean house. Try it. she’ll thank you for it.
6. the 15 second kiss . i know you are thinking, “so it’s all about sex with you, huh?” no. {well…}this one we just started recently and it might even be my favorite. we read this sweet article recently on a marriage blog and i loved the idea of reconnecting daily. there are days when we come home, make dinner, often side-by-side, tidy up, hose down the kids, and once they get in bed, we flop on the couch and realize we haven’t even said “hi” yet! after i told him about the 15 second kiss, he grabbed me and kissed me for a good 15 seconds. it was sweet, not intended for anything other than that, but it does cause a reconnect. the whirlwind of the day comes to a hault and the phones get set aside, the tv stays off longer, and we remember what’s important in this crazy life. try it. it’s another smile a day… see #3 above. so easy to do, and brings us back home every time.
7. Give each other “me time” . Everyone, regardless of what it looks like, needs down time. In my husband’s case, I know he needs time every night to do nothing but sit and watch a show. It’s his favorite part of the day, the power-down. it’s what he needs to de-stress and to relax. Not all men are created equal of course, some men need to get out of the house, some need the other guys… but they need their “time” whatever that is for them. What I need? Thirty bucks and a tap on the butt to go get a pedicure for no reason… same concept. {hint hint…}
8. Speak kind words. We were friends with a couple that whenever he turned his back, she was saying awful things about him. It was super awkward for us, and made us wonder how that worked for them. He was constantly saying how amazing she was: gorgeous, talented, and such a hard worker… She was always telling us what he can’t do, what he doesn’t do for her… it was heartbreaking. I love hearing from my husband’s co-workers what they have “heard about me”. It’s proof he speaks well of me and reminds me to do the same.
9. Brag don’t rag . Without fail, every time we have a girls’ night and the girls and I are up laughing about who knows what… it always comes back to “men always…” or “mine does that too!” we laugh a bit about the silly things they say or do, but in reality, mine doesn’t. My husband has never once said the words, “Gosh, I wish you could actually clean the house!” and he’s never once said, “So what did you do all day??” He respects my role here at home and my efforts to bring in extra bacon. And he knows it’s hard. {Besides that I am constantly reminding him it is…} He knows that it is nearly impossible to do it all and chooses to come home and help rather than say anything negative. Smart choice, by the way. {see #5} Whenever he begins a thought with “Can I just say something…?” I am always bracing myself, sure it will be the time he tells me to get my act together and be better and clean the freakin house and don’t look so nasty when I get home please!… but it is ALWAYS to tell me how great of a mom he thinks I am. When he treats me like a 10, I feel like one. And it makes me try harder at all those things.
10. planned dates . i know you’ve heard this one, but now, more than ever, we are learning this is vital. a planned outing, actually without kids, and some time to not just talk about kids, is necessary. necessary because remember #1? he needs a girlfriend. he doesn’t have a girlfriend if you’re not dating! so get a sitter if you have to, call and ask him out {or send an evite} , but go on a real, “i have a plan and i know where i am going to take you tonight” date. there, i said it. and yes, i know it’s easier said than done…
Source: bigredclifford.com
Trust God
Good Morning!
God’s plan for you is better than the plan you have for yourself. The word itself tells us to write the vision and make it plain (Habakkuk 2:2), however, sometimes our best laid out plans pale in comparison to what God is positioning us to receive. As you wait to see God’s plan unfold, your ability to trust is what will unlock His divine favor in your life. Trust and favor go hand in hand. Can God trust you with a next level blessing? Can you handle the weight and responsibility that comes along with favor? To whom much is given, much is required (Luke 12:48) and it will be your consistency that will elevate you. Joseph could be trusted because he had a forgiving heart. Noah could be trusted because he was obedient. There was favor in the famine for both of them. What are you willing to endure to receive God’s promises in your life? Take rest in the fact, that there is nothing that exceeds God’s eternal purpose for you. Trust His will and allow Him to do a perfect work in you - and then watch Him release the favor in your life. (Jeremiah 29:11) Trust Him!
Sunday 22 January 2017
Forgive To Live
The act of forgiveness can literally take a load off your chest. So says Dr. Fred Luskin, director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project. In his bestselling book, Forgive for Good, A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness, he reports that several research studies found that just the mere idea of forgiving someone allowed some people to feel better.
On the other hand, if the participants in the study imagined themselves as unforgiving, they had negative reactions, such as high blood pressure. Throughout the book, he explains that people who are more forgiving report fewer symptoms of stress and health problems. Failure to forgive may be more significant than hostility as a risk factor for heart disease.
We can go a long way in promoting our general health just by choosing to forgive. Unforgiving people keep themselves in a constant state of tension by thinking often about the situation and people involved in a transgression. Such chronic tension can lead to depression and hopelessness. I know because I’ve seen it manifest in my family and several close acquaintances. Their bitterness and resentment have impacted every corner of their lives.
Why allow offenders to rent free space in our heads and control the quality of our lives by focusing on them? We can choose to avoid the stress and tension associated with reliving the hurtful situation—when we choose to forgive. Decide to disconnect that ball and chain today. Don’t worry about letting the perpetrator off the hook; you will only be disconnecting YOURSELF from the hook. You can do this. LEARN FROM THE BURN, BUT FORGIVE TO LIVE.
Source: Deborah Smith Pegues
Positioned To Be A Game Changer
Good morning! God positioned you to change the game. This is the Purpose of favor.
Everything that God does has purpose. His works thru your life is designed to change the game, change the thinking and ultimately change lives. Change is good as it places you one step deeper into favor.
God seeks out those who love Him and love His commands so that He can bless, guide, and protect them. (Psalm 37:23, Proverbs 3:5-6). He's changing the game.
When you are favored with God you know and have the confidence that nothing can happen to you apart from His good purpose (Romans 8:28). Know that you have His ear as you walk through dark valleys (Psalm 34:15) and that your struggle to remain true to Him will not go unrewarded (Matthew 10:42, Revelation 2:10).
As God is positioning you to change the game, He is sending favor your way. He is opening doors that can not be closed. He is elevating you to another level of faith and favor.
Be sure to examine where you are positioned to ensure you are in the lane that God has purposed for you. In that position there is favor that you don't want to miss by being in the wrong lane. God is doing a new thing in you, Trust Him!
He is changing the game while positioning you for favour
Saturday 21 January 2017
Friday 20 January 2017
Humility is not Humiliation
Know enough to know you need to know more.
It’s hard to accept failure. Admitting that we’ve fallen short of our goals goes against the stubborn parts of our nature. That is all the more reason why we need to accept the consequences of our failures and learn from them.
There are a great many possibilities that come out of
failure but we tend to only dwell on the negative ones.We know that if we plan to succeed, we must plan to fail.
One lesson we gain from failure is humility.
It is important to know what humility is in order to take full advantage of its message.
Author C.S. Lewis once wrote that, “true humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.”
Humility is not humiliation.
Humility is being able to admit that the positions we hold are fallible and being alright with that.
It is where true wisdom can begin because we are freed from the fear of failure and open to possibilities we may never have allowed ourselves to see before.
A person who has taken the lesson of humility to heart is ready to learn, grow, and understand much more than someone who is still beating themselves up over their missteps.
Source: TD JAKES
How to maximise your hapiness on your job
As your home away from home, it's important to create a workspace that's conducive to productivity and well-being.
Maximize your happiness on the job by following these 4 simple steps.
1. Be Affirmative
Set the foundation for every task, great or small, by using affirmations. The use of these devices helps to rewire the brain by expressing desired outcomes as realities that are already true in the present moment. Keep it simple and write a brief affirmation that speaks to your desired workspace. Try the following:
"My workspace is conducive to abundant creativity and high productivity."
Think of the affirmation as the energetic foundation on which to build the perfect workspace!
2. Declutter
Clutter robs us of peace so reclaim a sense of the senere by decluttering. The good news is decluttering doesn’t need to be a massive undertaking. Approach the process in pieces. Identify items that can be tossed out without much consideration. Then, categorize items by how frequently you use them and place those items you rarely use out of sight. A cluttered desk might be a sign of activity but not productivity.
3. Beautify Your Space
Once you’ve removed the clutter, focus on creating a calm and pleasant work environment through the use of artwork and other items that are pleasing to the eyes. A picture of a vibrant ocean, a dewy forest, or a loved one will conjure feelings of peace, tranquility and love that lead to increased inspiration and creativity.
4. Breathe
In addition to allergens and bacteria, the electronic devices we rely on so heavily can be toxic to our health. One way to combat this modern day hazard is to use plants. Not only do indoor plants help clean our air, but they offer soothing resting spots for our eyes. Tending to a plant can also remind us of valuable life lessons surounding nurturing and growing.
The benefits of your reorganized work space will extend to those working around you. Take these small steps, you might be surprised where you end up.
Source: TD JAKES
Are you drinking enough water?
If you automatically assume you’re drinking enough water, without being intentional about how much you drink, then you probably aren’t.
Counting coffee (or tea or juice) as a good water replacement, because it’s made with water, is also a huge mistake! Yes, our bodies will extract the water from those things – if you were stranded on a dessert island, those things would keep you alive.
But your goal shouldn’t be “stay alive” while surrounded by accessible water. Your goal should be “feel great”. The extra burden we put on or bodies, of processing coffee, tea, juice and especially pop, takes away from some of the amazing benefits you could be seeing if you drank plain water instead.
If you feel great all the time, have lots of energy, are rarely thirsty, and pee often – very light colored or clear pee – then you might actually be getting enough water.
If you are tired, have headaches, digestive issues, muscle aches and pains, trouble sleeping, or dull / dry skin, you probably aren’t getting enough. Water should be the first thing you turn to for health improvement.
Find your bare minimum water intake by dividing your weight (in pounds) in two and THAT is how many ounces of water you should be taking in daily (minimum). So a 160 lb person actually needs 80 ounces of water, which would be TEN 8 oz glasses of water in the day.
If you are very physically active or breastfeeding you will need MORE water.
It really is a miracle drink.
So I was really fortunate to get into the water drinking habit young. I can honestly say that I feel good most of the time. I am not generally tired, I have good skin, I don’t battle my weight. (I didn’t really realize how rare of a thing this was!)
(There are other factors to this too; I try to keep my sugar intake down, I do cardio regularly, and I try to eat whole foods and take good quality supplements. But I am still firmly convinced that water is the foundation for the health of my body.)
When I don’t drink water during the day, I feel crappy that evening. My body is addicted to water! (Well, it’s addicted to knowing what our bodies are supposed to feel like.)
Should you start drinking more water?
I approached the whole “drinking water thing” with one of my favorite life principles: What have I got to lose? Why not try it? And I think that’s how you should approach it too.
I will point out though, that if you are blessed to live in a country where water is free and plentiful, then you have nothing to lose by giving it a shot. If you drink 8 8oz glasses of water a day for a month and you don’t see a single improvement in your health, then quit if you don’t like it.
The body is more than 75% water. (Blood is more than 90% water!) If you can’t see why it would be necessary to make sure your body has enough water to function properly, I can’t imagine what I could possibly say to change your mind.
If you don’t want to drink more water, then don’t.
But if you DO wanna drink more water, just to see if you can reap some of the benefits of drinking water) and just can’t seem to get it done, well, that’s another thing.
Great ways to get yourself to drink more water
Drinking water is a good habit, and like all good habits, you just gotta work on developing it. Do whatever it takes!
I am not a sipper. Never have been. If I relied on sipping water all day to get enough in, it wouldn’t ever happen. But I can stand at the sink and down a glass of water in about 10 seconds. So (when I’m at home), I’ve developed the habit of chugging glasses of water. One first thing in the morning (- that really wakes me up). One as soon as I walk in the door. And about 6 more during the time I get home from work until the time I go to bed. (To where I also take a glass of water, and if I wake up in the night, I have it there with me.) I drink more than the 8 glasses per day, for sure.
#Take it with you. (I never leave the house without a bottle of water. We have 5 of these freaking awesome water bottles and we both take water with us each day to work.)
#Set a timer on your phone, for every hour. Drink when it goes off. (OR download an app – I know they’re out there!)
#Start a water drinking challenge with some friends (to keep you accountable). Here’s a (free) pretty printable you can use to keep track.
#If you can’t stand the taste of plain water, adding squeezed lemon juice or cucumber slices won’t hurt.
Source: carlyonpurpose.com
Speaking the Love Language Rightly
We all want to feel appreciated and wanted. We all want to feel understood and cared for. We all want to feel loved . Whether you're single, dating or married, the thought of loving and being loved is what life is all about.
Last weekend, during a girls brunch, the book,
The 5 Languages of Love by Dr. Gary Chapman, was brought up. I'd never heard of it before. One of my friends starting explaining the concept behind it and suddenly it cliqued. It made perfect sense!
While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, he identified five love languages:
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch.
In a friendly, often humorous style, he unpacks each one. Some men or women may crave focused attention; another needs regular praise. Gifts are highly important to one person, while another sees fixing a leaky faucet, ironing a shirt, or cooking a meal as filling their "love tank." Some partners might find physical touch makes them feel valued: holding hands, giving back rubs, and sexual contact. Chapman illustrates each love language with real-life examples from his counseling practice.
Love Language: Words of Affirmation
How to communicate: Encourage, affirm, appreciate, empathize.
Actions to take: Send an unexpected note, text, or card. Encourage genuinely and often.
Avoid: Non-constructive criticism, not recognizing or appreciating effort.
Love Language: Physical Touch
How to communicate: Non-verbal – use body language and touch to emphasize love.
Actions to take: Hug, kiss, hold hands, show physical affection regularly. Make intimacy a thoughtful priority.
Avoid: Physical neglect, long stints without intimacy, receiving affection coldly.
Love Language: Receiving Gifts
How to communicate: Thoughtfulness, make your spouse a priority, speak purposefully.
Actions to take: Give gestures and gifts thoughtfully, with and without special occasion. Even small things matter in a big way. Express gratitude when you’re given a gift.
Avoid: Forgetting special occasions.
Love Language: Quality Time
How to communicate: Uninterrupted and focused conversations. One-on-one time is critical.
Actions to take: Create special moments together, take walks and do small things with your spouse. Weekend getaways are huge.
Avoid: Distractions when spending time together, long stints without focused one-on-one time.
Love Language: Acts of Service
How to communicate: Use action phrases like “I will” and “I’ll help…”. They want to know you’re with them, partnered with them.
Actions to take: Do chores together or make them breakfast in bed. Go out of your way to help alleviate their daily workload.
Avoid: Making the requests of others a higher priority, lacking follow-through on tasks
Source: metanoialiving.com
10 ways to bring fun back into that marriage
My husband and I have been married almost eight years now. Short enough that we are still learning every day, but long enough that we’re starting to fall into some of the same ol’ routines.
And while I’m a huge fan of routines in daily life , when things get TOO routine, they often start to get boring and stale… and no one wants that!
Are you and your husband stuck in the same ol’ same ol’ boring routine? Why not take some steps to make your marriage fun again?
(I mean, since you’re stuck with each other–might as well make the most of it, right )
Here are 10 ways to do just that.
1. Carve Out Time for Each Other
Between work, school, church and other family obligations, it’s all too easy to get so busy that you barely have any time left for each other. Don’t let this happen.
Whether it’s once a week, once a month or 15 minutes at the end of each day, carve out a special space for one-on-one time and intimate conversation . Put it on your calendar and guard it closely.
After all, you can’t have fun together if you never spend any time together, now can you?
Good marriages don’t just happen. You have to be intentional about it.
2. Surprise Each Other
That being said, you don’t have to wait until you can block out a chunk of time together before you can do something fun. There are plenty of little things you can do all throughout the day to him know you’re thinking of him, and they only take a minute.
For example, you could:
Send him sweet, funny or sexy text messages while he’s at work.
Surprise him with a extra long kiss – do it when he’s least expecting it.
Leave sexy sticky notes where he’s sure to find them — in his sock drawer, on the mirror, alllll over the inside of his car (Use these sexy sticky notes – they’re absolutely adorable)
Give him a back rub
Make his favorite meal
Write him a love letter of appreciation for all of the things he’s done for your family lately.
Get creative!
3. Get Silly
Who says that when you grow up, you have to be serious all the time? Let loose and get silly!
Surprise him with silly string, goofy glasses or a water balloon fight. Tell corny jokes, have tickle fights, or arrange a hilarious scavenger hunt.
One morning I woke up and my husband had put sunglasses on a pineapple sitting on the counter. I laughed about it all day! Another time, I crab-walked down a busy, downtown sidewalk just to make him smile. That’s totally not like me. It worked, though, and he still remembers it to this day.
Sure, you run the risk of embarrassing yourself, but you’ll also get some hilarious stories to look back on. And isn’t a good marriage worth it?
4. Try Something New
What have you always wanted to learn, do or try that you’ve never gotten a chance to? Why not learn together?
Whether it’s something as adventurous as skydiving or as relaxing as paddle boating, learning something new together is a great way to keep things fresh, exciting and interesting. Plus, there are all sorts of options for every budget and time frame, so you truly have no excuse.
Oh, and be sure to take a picture! I LOVE the idea of assembling it into a photo album at the end of the year – how fun would that be to look back on?
5. Find New Reasons to Celebrate
Today, my son did really well on his math test at school. I made a big fuss over him, and he was absolutely beaming. He loved the attention.
As moms, it’s so easy to make a fuss over our children, but how often do we celebrate our spouses and our marriages? Sure there is Valentine’s Day and our anniversary, but is twice a year really enough? (And if you’re like some super practical people–myself included–you might not even make a fuss over those!)
So find things to celebrate.
Made it through a weekend with the in-laws? Awesome! Agreed on which couch to buy AND what paint color to use in the living room? That’s great! High fives and cupcakes for everyone! You’re rockin’ this marriage thing.
6. Choose to Be Positive
Sure, you could argue that those things aren’t really worth celebrating. You could argue that your life is so bad that it isn’t worth celebrating at all. And maybe it is; I don’t know your situation.
But the fact is — every day, you have a choice. You can choose to be positive and focus on the good things in life, or you can choose to be negative and focus on the bad.
Even if your home is falling apart, even if your spouse is a jerk, even if your kids hate you… You still have a choice. Make it a good one. And *hopefully* the rest of your family will follow along.
7. Be Affectionate
Is your or your spouse’s love language physical touch? Then a little physical affection is an absolutely must. Don’t save it for the bedroom either – make it a part of your every day!
Kiss each other every time you leave and every time you return. Hold hands when out and about, even if it’s just at the grocery store. Grab each other’s bottoms as you walk by, or playfully graze a thigh when no one is looking.
And then, of course, don’t forget to take it to the bedroom too !
8. Play Games Together
When is the last time you and your hubby busted out the board games? If it’s been a while, it might be time to pull them out and dust them off. A little friendly competition is a great way to have fun in marriage–and it can be done on next to no notice for next to no money, if not free.
Play a board game like Sorry or a card game like Uno (strip poker is always a good choice) . Play along with a game show on TV, like Family Feud or Wheel of Fortune. Go out and play tennis or basketball, or set up a mini golf course right in your own backyard. Play by the rules or invent your own–just as long as you’re having fun!
Keep them G-rated and family friendly for a little sweet fun, or put the kids to bed and try a sweet and sexy grown-up game — it’s up to you!
9. Daydream Together
What would you do if you won 1,000? What if you had a whole month off of work and nothing to do? What will you do once retirement age rolls around?
While these things may be unlikely or at least a ways off, they are sure fun to dream about! So, what would you do? What would your husband do? Daydream together!
Plus, you may just decide your dreams and goals aren’t as crazy or unrealistic as you thought they might be… and maybe you could even come up with a plan for making them actually happen.
10. Let Go of the Little Things
Mad at your spouse about something? It happens.
But while minor irritations and annoyances may be unavoidable, the anger you feel after the fact doesn’t have to be.
Your husband doesn’t pick up his socks? Annoying, but not the end of the world. He’s gained a few pounds around his middle? Not fun, but it could be way worse.
Yes, if there are major issues, you will need to address them and deal with them, but for minor things, why not just let them go? The only thing nagging accomplishes is making people irritated, and chances are you have your fair share of annoying habits as well. (just sayin…)
Source: Brittany
Dont Do These To Your Man
Alright, "awful" may be too strong of a word (since nearly everyone has done these before, and having done one of these certainly doesn't make you awful!). Nevertheless, here's a list of 10 ugly things you may be doing to your husband that certainly aren't helping your marriage.
1) Nagging
Believe it or not, your husband's aa pretty smart guy. Really, he is. He hears what you're saying (most of the time), he understands what needs to get done (most of the time), and he fully intends to follow through (most of the time). But, he'll do it on his own time and in his own way, and there's no amount of nagging you can do that will change that. Nagging will only create tension.
2) Complaining
Sure your life may not be perfect, but complaining about it certainly won't make it any better. Of course it's important to be able to share with your husband the things that bother you, the things that are hard for you, and the things that make you frustrated and upset. But please make sure those aren't the only things you share with him. Constant complaining and negativity can really take a toll on the relationship. So, try to keep things positive.
3) Belittling or gossiping
We know, you and your girl friends like to get together and chat about everything under the sun. Women have a great gift for communicating, it really is amazing. But sometimes it goes too far. Your friends might want to know everything about your personal life, but sometimes that's just simply TMI. Don't rag on your husband to your friends - even if they're ragging on their own husbands. And try not to correct him in front of others. If there are issues that need to be addressed and problems that need to be solved, then find a quiet time when you can talk and work through it together - just the two of you.
4) Being disrespectful
Most husbands aren't perfect, and most of them know it. Despite their imperfections, it turns out that most men actually respond quite well to correction when it's given in a loving and constructive way - they simply want to feel respected in the process. There are many ways you may be knowingly or unknowingly disrespecting your husband. Some common ways include constantly interrupting him while he's speaking, not consulting him on important decisions, implying that he isn't good enough, or always second-guessing his decisions.
5) Ignoring or prioritizing others ahead of him
We know you're busy - perhaps very busy. You may have work responsibilities, community responsibilities, children running in seemingly every direction, a class to prepare for, and dinner in the oven for the new neighbors next door. Everyone must think you're amazing! Except you husband. He might be feeling a little neglected. Please don't forget about him and prioritize everyone and everything ahead of him! Certainly, there will be times when your husband will need to take a back seat to other demanding responsibilities, but that should be the exception. Even during those times, make sure he knows that he alone is your number one priority.
6) Withholding sex
Sex should never be used as a bargaining chip. Going down that path will turn what should be the ultimate unifying experience between husband and wife into a cheap game. This isn't a game, it's your marriage! You may not need physical intimacy as often as he does, but that doesn't mean you should treat it as a gift you would give a puppy for being good. If there's something that makes you want to withhold sex, then work through it - together. Kiss and make up (or make love)!
7) Spending too much money
You knew this one was coming, right? While this certainly isn't always the case, it seems to be more common that the husband is the cheapskate (he may refer to himself as the "financially responsible one") in the relationship, and the wife is the spender. We know you don't want to stay at Motel 8 when you could stay at the Ritz Carlton, or eat at McDonalds when you could chow down on Morton's. We get it. Every couple's financial situation is unique - and it certainly changes depending on the stage of life you're in - but we're just hear to remind you to try and not spend so much money. Money doesn't grow on trees, you know. Money issues are often a leading cause in divorce, and if you and your husband aren't on the same page financially, conflict and tension may escalate out of control.
8) Acting like his mom
Your husband is a grown man (even though he may not always act like it) and he didn't marry you because he needed a second mother. So don't act like one. Rather, be his best friend, his support, someone he can counsel with and someone he can confide in. As hard as it may be at times, fight the urge to micro-manage him, be overly nosey about every minute of his day, and/or make decisions for him. Letting him talk and share things with you on his own time and in his own way will be far better than trying to pry information out of him.
9) Having unrealistic expectations
Your husband loves you a lot! He wants to measure up to your expectations and be everything you ever hoped for in a companion. But, sometimes your expectations may simply be too high. He may be superman, but even superman had limits. Now, we're not necessarily suggesting you should lower those expectations, but just remember that some things take time - and there's no need to get frustrated if life doesn't always seem to progress at the pace you hoped for. Many husbands feel enough pressure from their employers, neighbors, or in-laws to be better and don't need to feel that from their wife as well.
10) Stepping on his toes
Men like to have their own space and their own area/s of responsibility. It makes them feel empowered and in control. So, you can imagine how uncomfortable your husband may feel when you waltz into his domain and try to take over his job. He may feel challenged and may get a bit defensive. It may seem like a power trip, but really it's just the innate desire he has to own a task and see it through to completion. Roles look different in every marriage. Regardless of that division of responsibility in your marriage, let your husband truly own his roles. Don't step on his toes. Let him do his thing, and express your appreciation to him for a job well done.
Source: nuturingmarriage.org
17 Gestures to make your man feel loved
Every man feels and receives love in different ways, so not all of these ideas are going to work for you, but at least a few of them will! Pick three this week to use to show your man how much you love him!
1. Food is the way to a man's heart. Make a list of his favorite snacks, treats, and meals - and make one of them for your husband, just because.
2. Put yourself first. Your man is going to feel loved when you take care of yourself. Make time to eat right, exercise, and look your best, so that you can feel your best. Take care of yourself emotionally, too. Love where you are at in life and be optimistic and grateful. Having a happy and healthy wife goes a long ways in helping your man feel loved.
3. Save money. Be more savvy about money, whether you are both the breadwinners, or just one of you. Be smart. Save more. And always express appreciation often to your husband for all he does to help provide for your family.
4. Don't talk bad about him. Ever. Be loyal to your man in every way.
5. Kiss him often. And run your fingers through his hair. He adores affection just as much as you do. Don't forget to give him massive hugs, too. And back rubs.
6. Pick up one of his hobbies and really get into it. I'll never forget the little elderly lady I met when we lived in San Diego. She told me, " Make your husband's hobbies your own. I fix cars and golf, and it has made for the best marriage ever." I'm not saying you can't have your own hobbies, but you can definitely show love for your hubby by showing interest in the things he loves.
7. Let him have some man time. Maybe he just needs a little time to work on the car, or play his favorite video game, or lift weights at the gym with his buddies. Whatever he needs for "alone time," let him have it. It may be wise to even plan a "day away," just for him at least once a year, and let him just have some time for renewal and rest from the daily grind.
8. Catch him doing good. Nagging doesn't work, so make sure you catch him doing good. Often. Offer compliments like, "Thanks for taking the garbage out," or "I love how thoughtful you are," or "You really are the best dad to our kids," or "Your muscles were just made to be my hero and carry in the groceries, and I appreciate your help so much!"
9. Initiate sex more - and be more playful and romantic. Show him you want him and need him as much as he wants and needs you.
10. Write him a letter. Or leave him a note , or send him a text. Your little reminders of love and appreciation go a long way in encouraging him and helping him feel loved. He needs to know you care and that you are thinking about him.
11. Plan a day that he would love - for just the two of you. Maybe you start by kidnapping him and taking him to breakfast, or by letting him sleep in, giving him a massage and breakfast in bed. Make the whole day special and he will feel loved and appreciated. Or, if you are feeling extra ambitious, plan a surprise getaway for the two of you.
12. Honor your roles. No matter your family dynamic, you and your husband both have roles in and out of the home. So honor yours, whether that means doing your half of the chores (and maybe his, just because) or taking the dog to the vet, or picking up that thing he needed for work - honor your role.
13. Tell him often how handsome he is. Say things like, "You always look so great when you wear that shirt," or, "Man, you are a hunk," or "My favorite thing about you is your smile." He needs to hear those things, too. He needs to know you are still super attracted to him.
14. Compliment him often in front of others. His friends and family need to know what a good husband, provider and man he is. Let them know your husband is your hero, but don't be too cheesy about it.
15. Be quick to say you are sorry. Just do it. When you can recognize that you have hurt his feelings, or said something rude, your ability to quickly ask for his forgiveness will help him feel loved and respected. Be humble and just say those two little words.
16. Surprise him with that gift/gadget he has been wanting forever. Or, if he isn't a gift kind of guy, find a way to serve him. Maybe you could clean his car and fill it with gas, or iron his shirts. Or maybe even mow the lawn. Whether you buy a gift or serve him in a non-monetary way, he will feel loved and grateful that you were thinking of him.
17. Ask for his advice, and then follow it. Guys like to fix things, and they often have wise (and realistic) insight into ways of overcoming challenges and problems. It would be wise to show your husband how much you love him by taking his advice, and then thanking him for it later. He'll really appreciate it, and be more likely to give advice when you ask, because he'll know you care about what he thinks and will take his advice to heart
Source: nuturingmarriage.org
Thursday 19 January 2017
Change the headlines over your life
Good morning! You need to change the headlines over your LIFE! God isn't hurting you, He's Positioning you.
Sometimes when God is positioning you for favor, he requires you to serve others. What are you doing to serve the needs of others? Serving does not hurt you, it helps you. It helps you to realize that this life is not about you, but you serving and helping others.
How can you be favored in isolation? Favor requires integration. Integration into the lives of others around you.
Be mindful of the lenses you view your life from. God is not hurting you, He is positioning. He says in Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. God has great plans for you, trust His plans.
In Luke 6:38 it says: Give and it will be given to you: a good measure pressed down, shaken together and running over will be put into your bosom. When you bless others and sow Favor into others' lives, you will reap Favor back. The Lord will reward you. When you give to others, it unlocks the stream of more Favor for your life. If you can handle your current resources well, don't expect God to provide more to add to your fiduciary challenges. Show Him responsibility and He will show you more Favor!
Change the headlines over your life. God has your best interest at heart. He's not hurting you. He's shaping, molding and growing you. Get ready for the miracles that will happen as a result of Favor. He is positioning you for greater Favor and blessings.
Source: TD JAKES Ministries
Discovering your purpose
There is nothing like discovering your purpose. Other than your birth, there is no greater moment in your life than the moment you realize the reason you were born. Trust me: There is nothing like it. The instant you discover your purpose, everything begins making sense — what you’ve been through; why you did “this” instead of “that; why this trauma happened; and why God allowed various things to happen in your life that did not happen to others who came from the same background.
The problem we often run into is the fact that we compare our “infancy” to the greatness of maturity. We look at the individuals who are living the lives we want to live, and we believe that our first steps into that field will place us on the path to realizing the end results at a much faster rate. After all, we study the “greats”, analyzing their every move. However, reality sets in when we try to utilize our unrefined skills to do on their level what we cannot do on our own. We begin at the beginning, but become frustrated by our lack of rapid proficiency. Therefore, we quit, believing that following our current path is an exercise in futility because we did not reach our desired results in the predetermined time.
That line of thinking is erroneous simply because we do not understand the apparent difference between potential and product.
I say this more often than people wish, but there is nothing like living and enjoying the process.
The reason people do not like to hear anything about process is because we live in such an “instant” type of world, believing the everything can be done now by flipping the “microwave” switch on life. Give it thirty seconds, and our dream is realized.
That “immediate” approach to life is completely incorrect. Just like good food requires preparation, our destiny necessitates that we go through the process. Here is why: Anything given without the process of earning it is disrespected and abused. Imagine a multimillionaire who worked for every penny they received. Their hard work allows them to appreciate what they acquired. Compare that multimillionaire to the child whose entire life has been surrounded by the wealth of his parents. He knows nothing else and wrongfully believes “this” is the way life should be. As a result, when they step into their inheritance, the child is missing several keys of understanding, wisdom, and respect when it comes to the finances given to them by their parents who earned it.
Don’t rush the development of your potential. If you continue “practicing” your gift, you will discover the beauty of the finished product…at the right time.
Wednesday 18 January 2017
That Akward Moment When Love Becomes Strange
Love is really very Strange. When you are not expecting it at all, you get it and when you need it the most, it leaves you. Love has the power to control you. As much as you can try to save your relationship, it will end if it has to end. There are some signs which will show that you do not love your girlfriend and the end is near.
1. Things Which Were Adorable Are Now Irritating
The small things like her silly mistakes, her habit of speaking a lot, her lame jokes and many more things which could make you smile are no more same. Rather, these things are irritating you now.
2. No Excitement Left
Earlier the idea of meeting her could fill you with happiness and excitement but now everything has changed. There is no excitement left in the relationship and gone are the days when you were always ready to meet them.
3. Awkward Silences
When you both are on the date or spending some time with each other and suddenly there is nothing left to talk about. You can’t speak anything even if you want to talk. This is one of the biggest sign that you do not love your girlfriend as you used to do earlier.
4. No Concerns
Earlier you could not see her upset and you used to do anything to make her concern. You still put an effort to know the problem but the feeling is not same as before.
5. Less Conversations
Earlier, you could spend whole night chatting with her but now conversations going over ten minutes become heavy. You do not want to discuss the day with her and also you do not want to know about her.
6. No romance
The things you felt when you kissed each other are gone. The feelings of holding hands and those romantic hugs are not same anymore. The romance and spark of the relationship are finished.
7. More Preference To Friends
During the starting phase of your relationship, she was the most important person in your life but now you give more preference to your friends and enjoy their company more than her.
8. No Possessiveness
You will not feel the same jealousy now if you see her with another guy as you have felt earlier. With all the other things the feelings of care and possessiveness are also coming to an end.
9. Frequent Disagreements
Earlier, there could be a rare thing on which you both do not have the same opinion and now there are a lot of disagreements and arguments.
10. Less Physical Contact
Now, both of you are not interested in being physical with each other. The passion of making love during the starting was has lost.
11. No Attraction
Earlier, you could not take your eyes off her no matter how she looked but now you don’t want to see her the same way even when she is looking stunning
12. Something is Missing
Not something, but a lot of things are missing which you could only feel during the beginning. But now you don’t want to remember happy memories and moments you spent with her.
Source: Jai Saluja
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